One of the hardest moments of my life was telling my mom, “I have Toilet Proximity Anxiety Disorder.” In other words, I feared that I wouldn’t make it to the bathroom in time.
It wasn’t that I was finally telling someone my deepest darkest secret. Rather, that I had successfully kept it hidden for over 15 years.
I remember crying on my wedding day. They were not tears of joy.
“You don’t have to go through with this,” my dad said nervously as he stood next to me, both our hearts thumping as we waited for the moment the church doors would open and reveal to the crowd the glowing bride and the triumphant father giving her away. “You can call off the wedding. People will understand.”
No, they wouldn’t. They would never understand. They could never forget. Nor forgive.
“No. I’m okay,” I lied. “I’m just nervous. Just nervous, that’s all.”
Problem was when I looked up into my father’s eyes we both knew the truth.
I have yet to see eyes like his – bright, warm, and irrevocably lost.
“Why is Lisa mad at you this time?” I ask him.
“Because she says I owe her four but I don’t. She’s lying. I only took three.”
John speaks quickly and without interruption, somehow managing to keep the cigarette from falling out of his mouth. I can tell he’s frustrated. The “gull” of Lisa cannot escape his mind and his hands betray his agitation.
The Freedom from Anxiety Guide contains a wealth of information on anxiety, anxiety disorders, and anxiety disorder management.
It also includes a step-by-step approach on how to respond to anxiety which will help to minimize anxiety’s reappearance in your life.